With suitcases packed and pillows strewn across the back seat of the family wagon, the SirOzzy family left at 5 am for a weekend of adventure at Hershey. Mrs. SirOzzy was co-pilot while the three boys were our backseat drivers. The four and a half hour drive was hardly reminiscent of the 27 hour drive my family took to Disney World when I was a child. During that trip there were six of us, four children, packed into a station wagon. My mother was a chain smoker and the car was always filled with what could only be described as something similar to mustard gas. Of course she wouldn’t roll the window down, that would mess up her beehive. I’m also certain, without hardened evidence, my father was imbibing while driving to calm his nerves. It was a different age. Long gone are the days when parents brought home their newborns resting on their lap in the front seat of a car. Seat-belts were always lost, tucked in between the seats, when they weren’t being used to tie each other up. To pass the time we played license plate games and had word finds. I noticed every cow, horse, and farm along the way, my eyes were always glued to whatever was outside the window. Maybe I was dreaming of, and planning, my future travels. The SirOzzy kids hardly took their eyes off their personal handheld video game apparatus. The four hours passed quickly.
A bit about the boys. The oldest is the Quiet Guy. He’s so quiet, in fact, he didn’t speak until he was nearly four years old. Not a word, or a cry, or barely a sound came out of that child. Most parents could only dream of such a quiet child, but after a while it became concerning. By the time he was three years old my concern turned to worry that he was autistic, or had some other ailment which rendered him silent. Consultations with specialists produced results from a slew of tests and procedures. At the conclusion, Dr. So and So announced, “He’s perfectly fine. He just has nothing to say.” To this day, when Quiet Guy does have something to say, people listen.
The middle child is the Talker. Words come flying out of his lispy mouth like wildfire. More often than not, these words are spoken in a completely random, nonsensical manner, with neither rhyme nor reason. He just talks and talks and talks. The key to his puzzle is always pay attention, you just never know when something might make sense.
And then there is the Noisemaker. For all the words that comes from the mouth of the Talker, sounds emit from the Noisemaker. Beep, bloop, burp, whip, whop, slursh, scream, sceech, screwl, clang, clap, clop, click, fart, burp, belch, shart, deedle-deedle-deedle. He produces a never ending array of noises that come from his mouth, his, hands, his feet, and everywhere in between. I would take him to a doctor, but certainly the doctor would simply say, “he likes to make noises.” Mrs. SirOzzy says, “Jim Carrey, eat your heart out.”
We checked in early to the Hershey Lodge and the boys were ecstatic over their first piece of chocolate for the trip. Reception handed out a full Hershey Bar to all, and rest assured, it was ripped open and devoured before we reached the elevator. There would be much more chocolate to enjoy and in due time we would learn proper tasting technique from the professionals.
The Hershey Lodge is a family friendly 665 room hotel located just a few minutes away from Hershey Park. Strangely enough, we learned there is no actual town of Hershey, Pennsylvania. Hershey is an unrecognized community named, obviously, after the innovative and iconic Milton S. Hershey. So while some businesses, like the Hershey Lodge, are directly affiliated with Hershey Company, other entities, such as the Hershey Pantry, are associated with the community and thus have no relation with the chocolate company. It’s worth knowing what’s what around town.
Because we departed so early in the morning there was time to fill up on lunch sandwiches and chips prior to departing for Hershey Park. The park opens at noon on weekends this time of year, but Chocolate World opens at 11… YAY!
In 1973, the Hershey Factory stopped giving tours. It wasn’t under a veil of secrecy, ala the Wonka Factory, it was simply because they couldn’t accommodate all the demand. In came Chocolate World. Located right next to the park, Chocolate World is a sort of super mall of all things Hershey. A 4D movie theater, a ride simulating the factory works, chocolate tasting, chocolate bar making, and as much chocolate as you could possibly imagine buying adorn the 100,000 square foot building. We would do and see it all in the next two days.
After watching the short Hershey themed 4D movie (admittedly, I previously had no idea what a 4D movie was), we jumped onto the Hershey’s Chocolate Tour Ride. Of course there was “free” chocolate at the conclusion of both these attractions. The Tour Ride features three singing cows that are only slightly less annoying than the It’s A Small World ride in Disney World. Between the perturbing ringing of the cow’s song and the pestering of the kids hyped up on cocoa, we were ready to beat feet for the park.
Arriving finally at the park, I was reminded many times of Disney World. Mostly, I was reminded this is NOT Disney. Though it is a theme park for a major US corporation, Hershey is much smaller in every sense of the word. Even with the park generally inferior, with lesser crowds (hence shorter lines), and fewer attractions, we were nonetheless occupied and enjoyed a solid 8 hours in the park. It would have been nice to split up the time a little bit and do two days in the park, but we only had passes for one.
While sitting on one particular park bench, Mrs. SirOzzy and I had quite a sobering moment… We realized that we were indeed sitting on a park bench… We were sitting on said park bench while our children were on rides, without us. We have reached that age when our children are capable of running off on their own, and we only have enough stamina to sit on a bench and watch. It was just one more sign of middle age and things to come.
Dinner was at The Bear’s Den, a restaurant in the hotel named after the local minor league hockey club. Following burgers and fries we tiredly retreated to our rooms. God only knows what happened in the boys room, as it was the first time the three boys had a hotel room to themselves without direct parental supervision. One can only imagine what kind of mischievousness and horseplay went on in that room over night.
So we woke the next morning rested and ready to tackle another full day of Hershey adventures. We started with a buffet breakfast at the Hershey Hotel. A 4 star luxurious hotel, I’m glad we didn’t stay there with the kids, but I would look forward to staying there with Mrs. SirOzzy. The Circular is the signature restaurant designed specifically by Mr. Hershey himself. Large, open, and round, with not a pillar or obstruction in sight, there are magnificent views of the grounds from every table. The food was delicious and the service exceptional, we really enjoyed our breakfast. We told the kids to load up, because lunch was not likely in the cards.
Following breakfast we had the opportunity to go on a free guided tour of the hotel. The tourguide, Albert, had his retirement party that same week and this would be his swansong, so-to-speak. Interestingly enough, there were quite a few Hershey executives present as well. The Hershey archivist was in attendance, as well as the museum curator, chief of reservations, head of spa, and a few others that seemed equally important. This was a great learning tour, evidenced by the fact that during the 2 hours Albert managed to keep the attention of all 3 boys. Little did anyone know, I read the boys the Riot Act before the tour.
We rewarded the boys for their good behavior with another trip back to Chocolate World. This time they would partake in a Chocolate Tasting Seminar, followed by designing their own Hershey Bar. This is another wonderful thing to do, as you can watch the bar be made from concept, to production, to packaging, and it’s all custom.
I’ve often said that kids can learn more in one or two days with their parents than they will in one month of school. This was true when we brought them onto the Hershey Works Historical Trolley Ride. For nearly two hours we were treated to a history lesson given by a bright and funny young man named Tim. The kids and myself learned the fascinating story of Milton Hershey and how he was a part of the Industrial Revolution. We also learned about the Milton S. Hershey School, a great contribution to society and education.
The school was founded in 1910 for orphaned boys. While requirements for admission to the school has changed over the years, it is still a philanthropic institution for disadvantaged children. Mr. Hershey always gave full credit to his wife, “It was Kitty’s idea,” he often said. Mr. and Mrs. Hershey never had any children and thus set up a trust fund for the school. Today, it’s valued at over $9 billion. You will never hear me complain about the cost of a Hershey Bar. Look under the flap of any Hershey Bar to learn more.
The tour continued with visits to all things Hershey, with plenty of chocolates and jokes along the way. While passing the Penn State Hershey Medical Center, Tim told us the hospital even has a Chocolate Eaters Rehab. He once spent two days recovering from the Hokey-Pokey, but he “turned himself around. And that’s what it’s all about.”
We all slept good that night and woke to a local breakfast. We were on the road soon after and home in plenty of time for a light, chocolate-free, dinner. All in all, it was a very good trip filled with fun and learning. We sure did a lot of activities in two days, and it certainly wasn’t cheap, but it didn’t break the bank either. And finally, don’t smoke with a beehive or children in the car.